I don't appear to have much effort to write here in my blog, but since I was passing by I thought I'd write an update on my transition; for posterity if nothing else.
Over the summer I've had my EV dose doubled; it looks as if 4mg might be sufficient to maintain a reasonable Oestradiol level (but we'll have to wait for my most recent bloods to be sure); and started on decapeptyl - a GnRH antagonist (which causes the body to stop producing testosterone).
I have also somehow caused my brain to naturally sing in the upper part of my vocal range, at which point all the latent singing skills I had from before puberty started have kicked in and produced a singing voice I'm actually happy with (even if my ability to stay on pitch is still a bit lacking). Speaking voice will require actual work; and I've started watching Z's transvoice videos with an aim of working on that.
I now have breasts that are visible to even me, about a 38C bra size; and I'm told that some of the fat from my tummy has migrated to my bum - although I'm incapable of seeing either of those things.
I spent some time last year with pink hair, but haven't been able to leave the house this year to get it redone.
I'm thinking more clearly, more often, and in more convoluted sentences. I cry sometimes and have a mood range that my pre-HRT self would have regarded as impossible. I am happier all the time, even when I spend 5 hours crying.
I have also, very cautiously, started drinking alcohol - the reasons why I never did don't exist any more, and I actually feel like I'm growing up now.
I need to ask my GP to confirm with the GIC that they've even received my referal since I've not heard even a squeek out of them.
Yes, you are Trans Enough, my transition from self-loathing to self love by Mia Violet is a primarily autobiographical book with some reflections and opinions on the state of trans issues in the UK.
I've followed Mia on twitter since I was in my own transition egg and she was one of the people who produced the environment that made me ready to hatch. She is also a lovely person. It would probably have helped me to read this book at that point, but it wasn't published until 2018 by which point my egg was well cracked. This book is aimed at little egg me, but I'd argue that it's also the perfect book for anyone with trans friends who wants to understand them better.
Mia starts at the very beginning (a very good place to start) with childhood and works her way through indicative experiences, trials, and tribulations. I have to admit that some of the passages had me in tears; and in general Mia seems to have had a worse time of things than I did, although there are places where I envy her.
I'm actually writing this review having got to page 226; where Mia has just taken her first HRT pills because I'm just bursting with love for this book. On every page there's an experience either I've had myself or I know a friend has had; and these things are so hard to talk about. Mia is a very brave person for having put all of these thoughts and experiences into print and I want everyone to benefit from them.
Once I've finished the remaining third of the book (which ends with a happy Mia, I hasten to add) it's available for any of my friends in Cambridge to borrow. It's also available on Kindle as well as in print.
- Title
- Yes, you are Trans Enough
- Author
- Violet, Mia
- Published
- 2018
- Reviewed Format
- Paperback
- ISBN
- 978 1 78592 315 9
I haven't written here yet about transitioning; maybe I'll put down some of my thoughts another time, but suffice it for now to say that I started transitioning at some point in the last 12 months depending on when you count.
For reasons mostly relating to the waiting lists for NHS GICs being ludicrously long I have gone private for a dysphoria diagnosis and to start on hormones. My GP is willing to have a Shared Care arrangement which means that the private gender specialists take care of me for gender-related stuff and she does the rest; including continuing prescriptions started by the gender people.
A few days ago I got my prescription for Estradiol Valerate (girl hormones!). This was a private prescription but it turns out EV isn't very expensive anyway. I'm starting on a 2mg dose which is maybe a quarter of what I might expect to be on eventually; and they don't start you on antiandrogens until they see how your body responds to the oestogens - some people don't need them at all.
I haven't really noticed any changes yet; although I think I might occasionally have flashes of extra smell sensitivity.
Landspeeder from my first advent calendar door.
Introduction
This is an installation record for installing Debian Stretch on the XPS13 9350 Developer Edition.
You will need:
- A Dell XPS13 9350 Developer Edition
- Two USB sticks (8GB should be sufficient)
- An install image for Debian Stretch (I recommend the netinst image)
- Wifi
Thanks to the Ubuntu install already on the laptop everything can probably be done on the laptop, but I'm doing most of it on my desktop.
Setup
- Start the laptop as per the Quick Start Guide and get Ubuntu set
up.
- During the Ubuntu setup it will prompt you for one of your USB sticks to make a liveusb.
- Don't forget to label the stick or you'll get confused later.
Write the install image to to the other USB stick.
This used to require dd but nowadays you can just do it with cp.
cp installer.iso /dev/sdd- Don't forget to label the stick or you'll get confused later. The installer image will include two partitions.
- Add another partition and format it. We're going to put the wireless firmware on this partiton.
- Mount the third partition on /mnt
Create a directory 'firmware' on the third partition and1:
cp /lib/firmware/iwlwifi-8000C-* /mnt/firmware/- Shut down ubuntu
- Restart the laptop and press F2 when the Dell logo appears to enter BIOS setup mode.
- Under "Secure Boot > Secure Boot Enable" select (•) Disabled.
- If you have any problem booting the USB then under "General > Advanced Boot Options" select [✓] Enable Legacy Option ROMs.
- Apply your changes.
- You may want to change other settings here. In particular if you want to run VMs on your system ensure that the Virtualization settings are turned on.
- Exit
NOTE: We need to remember to turn Legacy Option ROMs off once we're done.
NOTE: Debian doesn't currently support Secure Boot; but probably will do in the future.
Repartitioning
This sequence could probably be combined with installation below; but I'm paranoid and want to ensure I can still run ubuntu before destructively installing debian.
- Press F12 when the Dell logo appears to enter BIOS Boot Menu
- Select USB
- After a few seconds the laptop will beep very loudly and GRUB will come up. Select Advanced Options > Expert Installation.
Run the following stages of the installer menu:
- Choose Language
- Configure the keyboard
- Detect and mount CD-ROM
- Load installer components from CD: loading network-console
Detect network hardware:
This will prompt for a removable media with the firmware files as above2. d-i probably won't detect the partition on sda3; so Alt-→ to the next console and do:
mount -oext2 /dev/sda3 /media- Alt-← to return to the installer menu.
- d-i will prompt for the missing firmware files again, but won't complain if you tell it to scan again.
- Configure the network
- Detect disks
- Configure installation remotely using SSH. This isn't really
necessary but it makes life significantly easier.
- This will prompt for a password and then give instructions for logging in remotely.
- Log in from your desktop
- Select "Start shell"
- Alternatively Alt-→ again to use the console.
Some system information:
~ # fdisk -l /dev/nvme0n1 Disk /dev/nvme0n1: 477 GiB, 512110190592 bytes, 1000215216 sectors Units: sectors of 1 * 512 = 512 bytes Sector size (logical/physical): 512 bytes / 512 bytes I/O size (minimum/optimal): 512 bytes / 512 bytes Disklabel type: gpt Disk identifier: 6F4D25D6-8E9A-4642-91F6-8B9123AE66AB Device Start End Sectors Size Type /dev/nvme0n1p1 2048 1026047 1024000 500M EFI System /dev/nvme0n1p2 1026048 7317503 6291456 3G Microsoft basic data /dev/nvme0n1p3 7317504 933734399 926416896 441.8G Linux filesystem /dev/nvme0n1p4 933734400 1000214527 66480128 31.7G Linux swap ~ # mount -oro /dev/nvme0n1p3 /mnt ~ # df -h /dev/nvme0n1p3 Filesystem Size Used Available Use% Mounted on /dev/nvme0n1p3 434.7G 6.3G 406.3G 2% /mnt ~ # umount /dev/nvme0n1p3 ~ # tune2fs -l /dev/nvme0n1p3 tune2fs 1.43-WIP (15-Mar-2016) Filesystem volume name: <none> Last mounted on: / Filesystem UUID: a64ddc80-e9a1-4002-b509-ab82813b4c89 Filesystem magic number: 0xEF53 Filesystem revision #: 1 (dynamic) Filesystem features: has_journal ext_attr resize_inode dir_index filetype extent flex_bg sparse_super large_file huge_file uninit_bg dir_nlink extra_isize Filesystem flags: signed_directory_hash Default mount options: user_xattr acl Filesystem state: clean Errors behavior: Continue Filesystem OS type: Linux Inode count: 28950528 Block count: 115802112 Reserved block count: 5790105 Free blocks: 112304287 Free inodes: 28723624 First block: 0 Block size: 4096 Fragment size: 4096 Reserved GDT blocks: 996 Blocks per group: 32768 Fragments per group: 32768 Inodes per group: 8192 Inode blocks per group: 512 Flex block group size: 16 Filesystem created: Tue May 24 17:01:33 2016 Last mount time: Wed Jun 8 22:49:18 2016 Last write time: Wed Jun 8 22:49:18 2016 Mount count: 23 Maximum mount count: -1 Last checked: Tue May 24 17:01:33 2016 Check interval: 0 (<none>) Lifetime writes: 16 GB Reserved blocks uid: 0 (user root) Reserved blocks gid: 0 (group root) First inode: 11 Inode size: 256 Required extra isize: 28 Desired extra isize: 28 Journal inode: 8 Default directory hash: half_md4 Directory Hash Seed: d91fc1a7-cf0d-48c4-a69e-b96c4768ec41 Journal backup: inode blocks ~ # resize2fs -P /dev/nvme0n1p3 resize2fs 1.43-WIP (15-Mar-2016) Estimated minimum size of the filesystem: 2060940- /dev/nvme0n1p1 is the EFI partition.
- /dev/nvme0n1p2 appears to contain the same stuff as the ubuntu USB we made earlier; presumably it's the installer for the base install.
- /dev/nvme0n1p3 is the main ubuntu install.
- /dev/nvme0n1p4 is the ubuntu swap.
We want to resize /dev/nvme0n1p3 to, say, 32G. tune2fs says the block size is 4k and resize2fs estimates a minimum size of 2060940 blocks so that's about 8G, which is all consistent.
We want to move the ubuntu swap to just after the ubuntu partition and resize it; I think 8G should be enough since I'm not planning on doing anything hard in ubuntu.
NOTE: This swap isn't encrypted, so we don't want to use it for Debian.
Resize /dev/nvme0n1p3 to minimum size:
~ # e2fsck -f /dev/nvme0n1p3 e2fsck 1.43-WIP (15-Mar-2016) Pass 1: Checking inodes, blocks, and sizes Pass 2: Checking directory structure Pass 3: Checking directory connectivity Pass 4: Checking reference counts Pass 5: Checking group summary information /dev/nvme0n1p3: 226904/28950528 files (0.1% non-contiguous), 3497825/115802112 blocks ~ # resize2fs -p /dev/nvme0n1p3 4000000 resize2fs 1.43-WIP (15-Mar-2016) Resizing the filesystem on /dev/nvme0n1p3 to 4000000 (4k) blocks. Begin pass 2 (max = 672429) Relocating blocks XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Begin pass 3 (max = 3534) Scanning inode table XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Begin pass 4 (max = 23529) Updating inode references XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX The filesystem on /dev/nvme0n1p3 is now 4000000 (4k) blocks long.Resize the partition in the partition table:
~ # fdisk /dev/nvme0n1 Welcome to fdisk (util-linux 2.28). Changes will remain in memory only, until you decide to write them. Be careful before using the write command. Command (m for help): d Partition number (1-4, default 4): 3 Partition 3 has been deleted. Command (m for help): n Partition number (3,5-128, default 3): First sector (7317504-1000215182, default 7317504): Last sector, +sectors or +size{K,M,G,T,P} (7317504-933734399, default 933734399): +32G Created a new partition 3 of type 'Linux filesystem' and of size 32 GiB. Command (m for help): p Disk /dev/nvme0n1: 477 GiB, 512110190592 bytes, 1000215216 sectors Units: sectors of 1 * 512 = 512 bytes Sector size (logical/physical): 512 bytes / 512 bytes I/O size (minimum/optimal): 512 bytes / 512 bytes Disklabel type: gpt Disk identifier: 6F4D25D6-8E9A-4642-91F6-8B9123AE66AB Device Start End Sectors Size Type /dev/nvme0n1p1 2048 1026047 1024000 500M EFI System /dev/nvme0n1p2 1026048 7317503 6291456 3G Microsoft basic data /dev/nvme0n1p3 7317504 74426367 67108864 32G Linux filesystem /dev/nvme0n1p4 933734400 1000214527 66480128 31.7G Linux swap Command (m for help): w The partition table has been altered. Calling ioctl() to re-read partition table. Syncing disks.Resize /dev/nvme0n1p3 to fill the whole partition:
~ # e2fsck -f /dev/nvme0n1p3 e2fsck 1.43-WIP (15-Mar-2016) Pass 1: Checking inodes, blocks, and sizes Pass 2: Checking directory structure Pass 3: Checking directory connectivity Pass 4: Checking reference counts Pass 5: Checking group summary information /dev/nvme0n1p3: 226904/1007616 files (0.3% non-contiguous), 1736567/4000000 blocks ~ # resize2fs -p /dev/nvme0n1p3 resize2fs 1.43-WIP (15-Mar-2016) Resizing the filesystem on /dev/nvme0n1p3 to 8388608 (4k) blocks. The filesystem on /dev/nvme0n1p3 is now 8388608 (4k) blocks long.Mount /dev/nvme0n1p3 and have a quick check to ensure all is OK:
~ # mount -oro /dev/nvme0n1p3 /mnt/ ~ # ls /mnt/ bin etc lib32 mnt run tmp boot home lib64 opt sbin usr cdrom initrd.img lost+found proc srv var dev lib media root sys vmlinuz ~ # df /mnt/ -h Filesystem Size Used Available Use% Mounted on /dev/nvme0n1p3 31.4G 6.3G 23.5G 21% /mnt ~ # umount /mnt/Remove the current swap partition and create a new one:
~ # fdisk /dev/nvme0n1 Welcome to fdisk (util-linux 2.28). Changes will remain in memory only, until you decide to write them. Be careful before using the write command. Command (m for help): d Partition number (1-4, default 4): 4 Partition 4 has been deleted. Command (m for help): n Partition number (4-128, default 4): First sector (74426368-1000215182, default 74426368): Last sector, +sectors or +size{K,M,G,T,P} (74426368-1000215182, default 1000215182): +8G Created a new partition 4 of type 'Linux filesystem' and of size 8 GiB. Command (m for help): t Partition number (1-4, default 4): 4 Hex code (type L to list all codes): 19 Changed type of partition 'Linux filesystem' to 'Linux swap'. Command (m for help): p Disk /dev/nvme0n1: 477 GiB, 512110190592 bytes, 1000215216 sectors Units: sectors of 1 * 512 = 512 bytes Sector size (logical/physical): 512 bytes / 512 bytes I/O size (minimum/optimal): 512 bytes / 512 bytes Disklabel type: gpt Disk identifier: 6F4D25D6-8E9A-4642-91F6-8B9123AE66AB Device Start End Sectors Size Type /dev/nvme0n1p1 2048 1026047 1024000 500M EFI System /dev/nvme0n1p2 1026048 7317503 6291456 3G Microsoft basic data /dev/nvme0n1p3 7317504 74426367 67108864 32G Linux filesystem /dev/nvme0n1p4 74426368 91203583 16777216 8G Linux swap Command (m for help): w The partition table has been altered. Calling ioctl() to re-read partition table. Syncing disks. ~ # mkswap /dev/nvme0n1p4 Setting up swapspace version 1, size = 8589930496 bytes UUID=ffe6618f-66cd-4f1f-ac24-3463b18aae40Remember the UUID, you'll want it later.
- Back on the laptop select "Abort the installation" and reboot into Ubuntu. I had some graphical oddities at this stage; wait until the login screen displays correctly.
- Log in to the Ubuntu desktop and update the UUID of the swap device in /etc/fstab .
- Restart Ubuntu and ensure it mounts its swap OK.
(To Be Continued...)
Installation
- Repeat the above boot instructions to boot the install USB again.
I wish to install without systemd, so following the instructions on wiki.debian.org I will postpend:
preseed/late_command="in-target apt-get install -y sysvinit-core"to my grub command line.
- This time you'll want to load crypto-dm-modules if you want to do encrypted filesystems.
- Continue with the standard installation path:
- Set up users and passwords
- Configure the clock
- Detect disks
Partition disks:
This is what I have before starting:
/dev/nvme0n1 - 512.1 GB Unknown
1.0 MB FREE SPACE #1 524.3 MB B fat32 EFI system p #2 3.2 GB fat32 Basic data p #3 34.4 GB ext4 #4 8.6 GB F swap swap 465.4 GB FREE SPACESet the swap space to "do not use"
- I'm setting #3 (the ubuntu partition) to mount on /mnt/danae
- Add a partition for /boot - I'm giving this 4GB
- Add a partition for "physical volume for encryption". I'm filling the rest of the disk with it.
- Configure encrypted volumes
- Set the encrypted volume as "physical volume for LVM"
- Configure the Logical Volume Manager
- Create volume group
- Create whatever lvs you want
- Add whatever partitions you want
My final setup looks like:
Encrypted volume (nvme0n1p6_crypt) - 461.4 GB Linux device-mapper
#1 461.4 GB K lvmLVM VG vg-nvme, LV game-base - 9.0 GB Linux device-mapper (linear #1 9.0 GB
LVM VG vg-nvme, LV home - 160.0 GB Linux device-mapper (linear)
#1 160.0 GB f ext4 /home
LVM VG vg-nvme, LV slash - 4.0 GB Linux device-mapper (linear)
#1 4.0 GB f ext4 /
LVM VG vg-nvme, LV swap - 40.0 GB Linux device-mapper (linear)
#1 40.0 GB f swap swap
LVM VG vg-nvme, LV usr - 16.0 GB Linux device-mapper (linear)
#1 16.0 GB f ext4 /usr
LVM VG vg-nvme, LV var - 16.0 GB Linux device-mapper (linear)
#1 16.0 GB f ext4 /var
/dev/nvme0n1 - 512.1 GB Unknown
1.0 MB FREE SPACE
#1 524.3 MB B fat32 EFI system p
#2 3.2 GB fat32 Basic data p
#3 34.4 GB K ext4 /mnt/danae
#4 8.6 GB swap
#5 4.0 GB F ext4 boot /boot
#6 461.4 GB K crypto (nvme0n1p6_ 335.4 kB FREE SPACEFinish partitioning and write changes to disk
- Install the base system
- linux-image-amd64
- Targeted initrd
- Configure the package manager
Select and install software. I'm going for:
[*] Debian desktop environment [ ] ... GNOME [ ] ... Xfce [ ] ... KDE [ ] ... Cinnamon [ ] ... MATE [ ] ... LXDE [*] web server [*] print server [*] SSH server [*] standard system utilities [ ] Debian Pure Blends [ ] ... Debian Astro [ ] ... Debian Edu [ ] ... Debian EzGo [ ] ... Debian Games [ ] ... Debian GIS [ ] ... Hamradio [ ] ... Debian Junior [ ] ... Debian Med [ ] ... DebianMultimedia [ ] ... Debian Science [ ] ... DebiChemWait around for a while. Don't do what I did and let the laptop run out of battery. This took about 15 minutes for me.
- Install the GRUB boot loader on a hard disk.
- Finish the installation.
- The system will reboot. All being well debian should be the top of the EFI boot order and Debian's grub should therefore start up.
Unfortunately something in the installation process went wrong for me and I never got a grub.cfg installed only a grub.cfg.new. This can be booted from with:
normal (hd0,gpt5)/grub/grub.cfg.newHopefully you should now have a shiny new Debian login prompt. Oddly this appears to be on VC1. To fix the grub problem log in as root and then update-grub.
After Installation
udev
The default install has a number of annoying udev rules that rename your network interfaces to crazy unique things.
These rules can be overriden by adding new rules files in /etc/udev/rules.d . I have created empty files called
73-usb-net-by-mac.rules 75-net-description.rulesYou might also want 99-systemd.rules if you're keeping systemd.
systemd
- The system installs with still far too much systemd for my liking. Imma purge it all. This will also remove gdm3 and gnome so have xdm and a window manager ready. Doing this while using the X server appears to put the system in a not very consistent state so I'd recommend rebooting after.
- Also after removing systemd you'll lose network-manager and will have to set up some other way of configuring your wireless card.
mouse
psmouse and synaptics don't play nice together.
blacklist psmousein /etc/modprobe.d/modprobe.conf will stop the system loading psmouse.
- By default synaptics ignores taps, and treats
- single finger clicks as left
- double finger clicks as right
- triple finger clicks as middle
- clicks in the bottom right as right
- double finger drags as scrollwheel
- If you want to use an external USB mouse note that the default setup doesn't do Emulate3Buttons
The list of files that iwlwifi complains are missing are 20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, and 13.ucode but the ones from the ubuntu image appear to be sufficient. ↩
The list of files that iwlwifi complains are missing are 20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, and 13.ucode but the ones from the ubuntu image appear to be sufficient. ↩
One thing that's been noted about this election is the unusual disparity in ranges of numbers of votes required to secure seats between parties. To some extent this is because the SNP had a "roaring" good election and won 56 out of 59 seats that they contested (giving them very little chance to "waste" votes). On the other side UKIP contested an awful lot of seats for very little effect; but here I present this figures in a very slightly easier to read form. Maybe later I'll produce an infographic.
For reasons the Speaker, if seeking reelection as Speaker, is traditionally regarded as neutral and not contested (in fact both UKIP and Green did contest his seat); so I'm taking my base unit as the number of votes required to elect one John Bercow - 34,617. For each of the parties who won at least one seat, how many Bercows did it take to elect each MP on average? These figures have been slightly rounded for presentation
| Party | Bercows |
|---|---|
| Speaker | 1 |
| Conservative | 1 |
| DUP | ⅔ |
| Green Party | 33⅖ |
| Labour | 1⅙ |
| Liberal Democrat | 8¾ |
| Plaid Cymru | 1¾ |
| SDLP | 1 |
| SNP | ¾ |
| Sinn Fein | 1¼ |
| UKIP | 112⅛ |
| UUP | 1⅔ |
In addition the Alliance Party got 1¾ Bercows and no seat, and the TUSC got just over 1 Bercow and no seat. Other candidates between them got 6¼ Bercows without any seats.
Being a list of Hugo Nominees who've distanced themselves from the puppies
(This post will probably get updated as and when)
- Best Short Story
- Annie Bellet (equivocal?)
- Best Semiprozine
- Best Editor (Short Form)
- Bryan Thomas Schmidt (equivocal about Sad Puppies, clear about Rabid ones)
- Best Editor (Long Form)
- Sheila Gilbert (second-hand, equivocal)
One example that only distances himself from the Rabid Puppies, not the Sad ones:
- Best Editor (Short Form)
Mini Metro is coming along; they're up to beta 20 now; with new features like "Rush Hour Mode" (where you can't move lines and trains around once placed) which I really like. It's somewhat harder and produces odder-looking maps though:
I've finally won a game of Crusader Kings II. That is got to 1453 without either losing or giving up because I've been reduced to a single boring county somewhere.
I started off as Dublin (possibly the easiest independent county in 1066) and ended up as this (Irish) Empire of Alba (total score 167024, which I note purely for my future reference):
Sadly Norway took the duchy of Orkney back by getting the Duke of it elected king near the end of the game and there's a couple of enclaves in Hispania. Also it annoys me that when I create the the Empire level title my nice green Ireland colour becomes an ugly red.
I suspect if I ever get EU4 this will make a very OP starting position. Or I'd guess Lithuania or Pisa might make a playable start other than Alba.
Having won as a "normal" Catholic monarch, my next go is going to be trying as a Norse Republic (I've hand edited a Year 867 start to add this, based in Iceland...)
Solo went to the vet again this morning, and was showing no negative signs; then about two hours ago she vomited up a bolus containing most or all of the string. So hopefully everything is now well; although she's finally feeling a bit sorry for herself.
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